I am....
 |
| On the Alii Nui Dinner Cruise Last Night |
- Adventurous
- Crazy
- Strong
- I thrive on change
- Outspoken
- Organized
- Intuitive
- Confident
- Stubborn (sometimes)
- A free spirit
- Happy to spend time alone
- Social
- Determined
- Passionate
- Driven
Therefore I can....
 |
| A small cliff jump from yesterday |
- Make my dreams a reality
- Travel and explore the world
- Live a unique life
- Not worry about what others think
- Raise my two kids to be great
- Enjoy this world with my husband
- Live without a huge wardrobe
The question asked in day 23 of the 30 day blog challenge was "What is my level of location independence and my nomadic quotient"? I know both are high and the best way for me to show that was to list some adjectives that describe me (as provided to me by my closest friends) and relate them to the dreams I have and what I'd like to do with my life.
I don't know if I have another one year or another thirty years left. Inflammatory Breast Cancer has left me feeling short on time, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, but mostly older and very aware of the ticking clock. The sands of time in my hourglass are running very quickly and I don't know how best to live them out.
Do I throw caution to the wind, give up my day job, agree upon a more nomadic life with my husband and go and live it? Can I really travel half the time (sometimes with my kids and my husband, sometimes when my husband is at work it may be just the kids and I, or sometimes alone) and see my kids half the time? Will this be bad for them or will it give them an education, a better understanding of the fragility of life?
What about when my disease comes back? Yes, I said the word "when", not "if" because I honestly believe it is a matter of when. IBC never leaves your body fully, it is slinking around inside me somewhere, just waiting for my immunity to be down, or my belief system to be down so that it can begin its terrible killing job again. If it decides that time is not for another twenty years will I be able to survive those twenty years financially if I give up my day job and "live my life"? Will I regret my decision? I know if it comes back within the next five years I will not have regretted anything. But it is a bit like throwing the dice, I just don't know.
How will I like the nomadic lifestyle when I am sixty-five? Will it still be fun or will I be an old lady wanting the comforts of home? All those things need to be considered.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Would you stay on the conservative path and take annual holidays to fulfill the travel urge?
Would you throw caution to the wind and jump in with both feet?
Would you do something completely different?
Please comment below...........
I know you have something to say so please, this time, don't hold back, let me hear your thoughts.
Here is the video of my mini-cliff jump. Normally I would jump from higher up, but with my surgery still not healed I thought I'd be conservative. It was fun!
3 comments:
This is a really hard question. I kinda am in a similar situation with advanced cancer, and I am so torn between tackling this disease to the ground and running off to sail the Queen Mary and travel Europe eating chocolate croissants for the rest of my life. But then, I think that tackling this cancer could potentially lead to far more chocolate croissants in the long run. But that being said, it's becoming more and more important to reach my goals and celebrate life. It's become HUGE, actually - and travel is for sure part of that. Great question! ~Catherine
Hi Michelle, I am a Michelle too. Same age, different cancers, pretty much same adjectives used to describe us both. When I read your book, "The year I died" I could have been reading about myself (minus the excruciating chemo repercussions). If you knew you had a week or month to live, it would be so different! I think maybe consider changing your job to something that gives you more freedom. You are smart, creative and more than capable to start a new something to offset finances. You are also passionate, so find something that will let you travel and is exciting. There are many cool travel management jobs that will pay you well and let you see the world. Don't leave your kids. They need you and you need them. I have two sons, 18 and 22. I just can't imagine doing life with them only half time. You seem like you may be someone who is some what anchored by "home". Having a place to go home to may be important - no matter where your travels take you. I would make my life the way I want it and enjoy the journey. You seem like a gal who can and will reinvent herself. Thanks for being honest and authentic - love from Colorado.
Hi Catherine and Michelle, thanks to both of you for your feedback.
Catherine, I hear you about tackling the cancer now leading to far more croissants. I have done just that over the last 15 months and don't want to see the chemo ward again for a very, very long time. So for me the big battle has been done, if it comes back I'll have to decide how to deal with it then. Until that time, I'd prefer to be free and enjoy life :-)
Michelle, thanks for reading my book "The Year I Died" interesting how stories can parallel ours. I hear you about the job ghat gives more freedom. That is why I chose my career with Sun LIfe, I have tons of freedom with that job. The challenge is that I am competitive, so if I work, I work to be one of the top - which means less freedom :-) I could take it easy and work a little less, but it's not really in my nature (not yet anyway). I worked in the travel industry briefly, it didn't pay nearly enough but was fun. Yes I understand about not wanting to leave your sons. That is a huge challenge for me, my kids mean everything and I want to balance their needs with mine and make sure no one feels left out. Tough choices for sure.
Keep in touch.....
Michelle
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